An obituary is a short written notice that announces a person's death, shares the story of their life, and tells readers about services or memorial plans. To write one, gather the basic facts (full name, age, dates and places), describe what made the person who they were, list close family members, and include service details and any donation requests. A warm, honest obituary of a few paragraphs is enough.
If you're writing one right now, you're probably doing it during a hard week, with little time and a lot on your mind. That's normal. You don't need to be a writer to do this well. You need the facts, a few true details, and permission to keep it simple.
Before you start: gather the facts
Collect these first, ideally with another family member to double-check:
- full name, including a nickname or maiden name if people knew them by it
- age at death, and the city or town where they lived
- date and place of death (the place can be general, like "at home" or "surrounded by family")
- date and place of birth (some families give only the year or the city)
- key life details: schooling, work, military service, faith community, marriages
- close family members, both surviving and predeceased
- service details: type of service, date, time, location, and whether it's private
- donation or flower preferences
Funeral homes can often help with service details and with placing the notice in newspapers or on their website. Ask them about deadlines and costs if you're publishing in print.
The usual structure
Most obituaries follow a similar order. You don't have to follow it rigidly, but it gives readers what they look for.
| Section | What it covers |
|---|---|
| Announcement | Name, age, hometown, date of death |
| Life story | Birth, family background, education, work, the things they loved |
| Personality | What they were like; a habit, phrase or passion people will remember |
| Family | Surviving relatives and those who died before them |
| Services | Funeral, memorial or celebration of life details |
| Requests | Donations in lieu of flowers, or other wishes |
How to write it, step by step
1. Start with the announcement
The first sentence carries the essential news. Choose wording that fits your family. "Died" is clear and dignified. "Passed away," "passed peacefully" or "went home to be with the Lord" are also common; use whatever feels right to you and the people who'll read it.
2. Tell their life story briefly
You can't fit a whole life into a few paragraphs, so pick the threads that defined it. Where did they grow up? What work did they do, and what did they care about outside of it? Who did they build a life with?
Chronological order is easiest to write and to read. Don't feel you must list every job or address.
3. Show who they were
This is the part people remember. Instead of listing adjectives like "kind, generous and funny," give one or two specific details that show those things:
- "She never let a visitor leave without a container of soup."
- "He kept a running list of every bird he'd spotted from the kitchen window."
- "Her grandchildren knew that a card from her always had a two-dollar bill tucked inside."
Ask family members for stories. Often the small, odd details say the most.
4. Name the family
List surviving family members, usually starting with a spouse or partner, then children (and their spouses), grandchildren, siblings and others. Then name close family members who died before them: "She was preceded in death by…"
For large families, you can group people: "eleven grandchildren and four great-grandchildren." Be careful with names and spellings, and think about blended families, partners and close friends who were family in every way that mattered.
5. Add service and memorial details
Include the type of service, date, time and location, or note that services will be private. If plans aren't final, you can write "Arrangements are pending" or direct readers to the funeral home's website.
6. Close with any requests
Many families ask for donations to a charity that mattered to the person. You can also thank caregivers, hospice staff or a care facility.
A simple template
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], died [peacefully / unexpectedly / after a long illness] on [Date] [at home / in Place], [optional: surrounded by family].
[He/She/They] [was/were] born on [Date or Year] in [Place] to [Parents' Names]. [A sentence about growing up, school or early life.] [A sentence about career, service or main work.] [A sentence about marriage, partnership or family life.]
[Two or three sentences about personality, passions, habits or community involvement, using specific details.]
[Name] is survived by [spouse/partner], [children and their spouses], [grandchildren], [siblings], and [others]. [He/She/They] [was/were] preceded in death by [names].
A [funeral / memorial service / celebration of life] will be held at [Time] on [Date] at [Location]. [Optional: Visitation details.] In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [Organization].
A fictional example
The person and details below are invented for this article.
Margaret "Peggy" Lindqvist, 84, of Duluth, Minnesota, died peacefully at home on September 28, 2026, with her family nearby.
Peggy was born in 1942 in a farmhouse outside Two Harbors, the youngest of five children. She trained as a nurse in Minneapolis and spent 31 years at St. Anne's Hospital, many of them on the night shift, where younger nurses learned to come to her with the hardest questions. She married Erik Lindqvist in 1966, and together they raised three children in a house that always seemed to have one more person at the dinner table than anyone had planned for.
Peggy loved Lake Superior in every season, crossword puzzles done in pen, and a good argument about politics followed immediately by pie. She knitted a hat for every baby born at her church for nearly twenty years. Her grandchildren will remember her for teaching them to play cribbage and never once letting them win on purpose.
She is survived by her children, Anna (David) Moreau, Karl (Teresa) Lindqvist and Ingrid Lindqvist; seven grandchildren; and her sister, Ruth Halvorsen. She was preceded in death by her husband, Erik, and her brothers, Arne, Lars and Nils.
A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday, October 17, at Grace Lutheran Church in Duluth, with coffee and lunch to follow. In lieu of flowers, the family invites donations to the Arrowhead Hospice Fund, whose nurses cared for Peggy with great kindness in her final months.
Tone: honest, warm and true to them
An obituary doesn't have to be solemn from start to finish. If the person was funny, a little humor can be the most accurate tribute. If their life included hard chapters, you don't need to mention them, but you also don't need to invent a perfect life. Readers recognize the real person in small, true details.
Write in plain language. Short sentences are easier to read aloud at a service and easier to get right when you're tired.
Practical and privacy tips
- Check facts with family. Names, spellings, dates and relationships matter deeply to readers.
- Mind identity theft risks. Consider leaving out full birth dates and home addresses.
- Confirm publication details. Newspapers have deadlines, length limits and fees; funeral home websites usually allow longer tributes and photos.
- Choose a photo that looks like the person people knew, not necessarily the most formal one.
- Let someone else proofread. Grief makes typos easy to miss.
If you need help with the words
If you're stuck, it's okay to get help. Talk the story through with a relative and take notes, or ask a funeral director for examples of format. Some people use an AI chat assistant to turn their notes into a first draft, or a grammar checker to catch typos. If you do, check every fact, and rewrite any sentence that doesn't sound like your family. The details and the love in it have to come from you.
Key takeaways
- Gather the facts first and confirm them with family.
- Follow a simple order: announcement, life story, personality, family, services, requests.
- Use a few specific, true details instead of a list of adjectives.
- Protect privacy by leaving out sensitive personal information.
- Keep it simple. A short, honest obituary is a fitting tribute.